top of page
  • _

Life in Granada

Extracts from David Attenborough's new BBC 1 series, Life in Granada, filmed exclusively on location.


"As the light fades to the west, and the sun sets on another day, large herds of TEFLbeast make their way to the watering holes of the Plaza Nueva. From the high ground of the Albaicin and from the low plains of the Camino De Ronda hundreds of these majestic creatures meander their way towards the promise of a good drink and some much needed tapas.


Though the tapas is plentiful the large male TEFLbeast cannot seem to get enough. He gorges for hours on end as if each night may be his last. The females busy themselves with idle chatter. In between gulps of life giving Tinto De Verano, their screaching cries pierce the chill night air as they try pitifully to attract the attention of the starving males.�


It is no use. The male has become dull and stupid on the over abundant nutrients. The females now follow suit and soon the Plaza is awash with regurgitated vomit.

Hours pass and a flashing sliver of pink and orange sky signals the start of another day. Many of the TEFLbeast lie strewn in the Plaza. They will scuttle into nearby tobacconists or coffee bars to nurse heavy wounds. By the time the midday sun beats down again the TEFLbeast has returned to his favourite haunt to spend the remainder of the afternoon. Soon he will begin the build up to another night's bingeing for the constant to-ing and fro-ing across the harsh terrain burns his fat reserves as quickly as he replenishes it.

But tonight it will be different. There will be fierce competiton for scraps at the watering hole. A new herd of TEFLbeast has wondered onto the plain..."

0 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

1,114 and counting

Tonight, in a bar in La Zubia, I shall impart my 1,114th English class. That means that in little under two and a half years I have given, on average, 455.72 classes a year, 37.97 classes a month, 8.8

Barcelona

an extract from my forthcoming book, 'The Cats of the River Darro' Dead? Dead at fifty? I can't believe it. It's not fair! Why's it not fair then? Fifty's a good innings. It's more than I give most pe

The Girl Who Is Isabel

I used to teach a girl named Isabel. One day, shortly after we'd finished our series of classes, she got onto my bus but it turned out the girl wasn't Isabel at all. Oddly, over the next few days, I k

bottom of page